"please advise..."
my boss at my temp job sends lots of e-mails to me that contain the phrase "please advise." it's been several years since i worked in a large office environment and i had blissfully forgotten how often certain phrases are used. "please advise" is probably in my top three (along with "best practices" and "proactive") most hated business-speak terms. (coming in a very close fourth place is "incentivize", which i'm not sure is even an actual word.)
"please advise as to the attached e-mail." "please advise the status of..." "please advise if you plan to work extra hours thanksgiving week." et cetera et cetera...
so, i know this is very antonin scalia of me, but i'm gonna cite to the definition of "advise" from the merriam webster dictionary website:
transitive verb 1 a: to give advice to : counselb: caution, warn c: recommend 2: to give information or notice to : inform intransitive verb 1: to give advice 2: to take counsel : consult
truth be told, i like the word "advise." i think it has lots of fun and relevant uses. but it's like how radio stations overplay certain songs and even if you liked that song at first, you reach a point where hearing even a fraction of a measure of that song will cause you to commit hara kiri. i now physically cringe when i read "please advise" on an e-mail or a post-it note. sigh...
anyway, i just got an e-mail about how i've yet to put anything in the log of crap that we temps have to keep for all of our input, so the bosses can track the input-to-output ratio. "please advise why there is nothing in your spreadsheet for november." what she's really asking is why the hell i haven't entered this information yet. and i think i'd rather receive an e-mail that says "why the hell haven't you entered this information yet?" the truth is that i've been out of the office for three and a half of the six business days in november and those other two and a half days i just didn't think about it. because instead i've been sitting here staring at this weird paperclip sculpture i made that looks like an alien butterfly and feeling totally humiliated to be a licensed attorney with a decent resume who can't find a real job.
i probably won't say that, though.
posted by emily @ Friday, November 09, 2007
4 comments
4 Comments:
actually, assuming scalia shared your animosity for the intransitive usage, he'd probably just elide the intransitive definition, quote the transitive definition, and then berate anyone who dares even to contemplate any argument that there's such a thing as an intransitive use for a word that's so plainly intended only to be used in its transitive form. and in support he'd cite transitive uses of the word advise from 18th century documents from the office of some attorney in philadelphia dug out of some attic in an historic home purchased by one of his eighty-seven children.
I know you posted this a long time ago... I 'm trying to figure out how to fit 'please advise' in a sentence just to tick you off a bit...
Any idea how to do that?
Please advise!
lol... there done it!
Have a nice day!
--Reuben
Hahaha, I love it. I thought I was the only one. People in my office love "please advise," "irregardless," and the oh-so-annoying over- and mis-usage of the words "myself" and "leverage." Not to mention using quotes for emphasis in an e-mail. "Why" would anyone do that? It's "so" annoying!! :)
I feel you pain. I really hate it "please advise" so much. I respond to customer service emails. Oh man, it seems like almost everyone uses that phrase. Sometimes I feel like not even responding to those, just because they put that.
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