na na na nylons...

i have a truly amazing ability. if i were a superhero, this might be my superpower. this keen and magical skill of mine is an uncanny knack for getting runs in my nylons. oftentimes, this occurs in the brief window of time between when i get dressed and when i leave my apartment. and i notice that i have the run while on the bus or walking into work. seriously -- it's like i'm some sort of nylon-run-getting savant. truly incredible! if only this were a marketable skill!

the catch (pun intended) here is that i only ever wear nylons when i wear a suit. ONLY. why? because i freaking hate nylons. (apparently, they don't like me much either.) what about wearing skirts on cold days? those times are for tights, which i like very much because they are fun. nylons are kind of moronic and awful and weird. (btw, i refuse to call them "pantyhose" -- that word is just too ridiculous.) but days when i wear suits are days when i'm supposed to look all professional and grown-up. and lately, days when i wear suits are days i'm going on interviews.

and you know what is not professional and grown-up and appropriate for interviews? having runs in one's nylons.

since i've started knitting and i understand the engineering of these sorts of fabrics, sometimes i wish i had a very very tiny crochet hook so that i could mend my nylons. i have this wish for about half a second, which is approximately the amount of time it takes for me to do a cost/benefit analysis of the situation. the benefit is not having to go get a new pair of nylons. the cost, however, is losing my fucking mind trying to repair the tiny fibers of a pair of $3 nylons. uh, no thanks. my mind is worth $3.