erm, google? we need to talk...

dear google,

you've been important to me for a long time. from the early days, when you were just a fledgling search engine, i've been on board. you've been a true friend, always helping me out when i needed to find something specific, be it that perfect link for a research assignment or vital stats on ex boyfriends. you've been there! and i've been there for you, growing with you, watching you evolve and supporting your new endeavors -- gmail, google maps, google desktop, google earth -- i've been right by your side for all of it. and your cutesy little diversions like google moon? you make me laugh, you inspire me, you bring joy to my life. you're my homepage, google! you're part of my life every day.

but i fear that we may have reached a point beyond which i'm afraid i cannot follow. when i first went online today, and saw your happy little blue-red-yellow-blue-green-red letters helpfully gazing at me from my computer screen, i saw that you have a new feature: google romance. google??? say it isn't so! i understand that to some degree you really must keep up with the proverbial joneses -- the yahoos, the MSNs. i know that you need to show the rest of the world that you can do everything they can do, and better! but, google, as much as i love you, as devoted as i've been to you, as marvelous as you are in my life, i'm afraid i'm not letting you into my bedroom. i'm just not willing to make you a part of my dating life.

i know this is difficult to hear. it's even more difficult to say. google? it's not you, it's me. wait, that's not true. this time, it's not me, it's you! you're going too far, and i just can't go there with you.

please know that you're going to continue to be a relevant and essential part of my life on the internet. i've invested too much time and energy to turn away from you now. but google romance just isn't for me. i hope you can understand.

i wish you all the best with your new dating feature. know that i'll be thinking of you and that i wish things were different.

always,
emily