Tuesday, April 04, 2006

dear sir or madam, please give me a summer job...

if anyone knows of a way to write cover letters that doesn't sound totally contrived and full o' shit, please let me know. it seems that no matter what i do, everything i say in these stupid things is a thinly veiled version of the following:
dear [insert name here]:

i'm a raging lunatic kiss-ass who is desperate for some sort of income. i want to buy something! i'm sick of thinking of lexis nexis points as currency! i'll do whatever you want me to do! i'm way smart -- i promise! please, for the love of pete, give me a chance!

i look forward to hearing from you soon.

regards,
emily
oy...

4 Comments:

At 6:20 PM, Blogger BobbyCherry2 said...

Hi there!

I help a bunch of my friends with their cover letters and crap. I'm pretty good with them, or so my friends say.

send e-mail to my alternative account: tigers3507@aol.com if you want help!!

P.S. I liked the one you put on the blog. Have you tried using that one?? =)

 
At 6:35 PM, Blogger perpetual slacker said...

This post reminds me that I've yet to do 'fact or fiction' this today...

 
At 8:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I spent a day and a half of my spring break obsessing over my resumé, and about freaked out when I found out I needed to do a cover letter, too. I put it off for a week. Felt like some kind of whore writing it, too.

::raises hand like the really annoying smart kid in elementary school:: "Ooooooh! Pick me! Pick me!! I'm the best!! Really! And I'm a broke soon-to-be-ex-college-student, so I have no standards!"

I'm still not happy with what I came up with, but it's better than "hire me now, dammit!"

Good luck. =]

 
At 3:13 PM, Blogger Moon said...

i think snooze is the run of the mill, there's not much else to do.

when i was graduating college, i saw an interesting listing in NYC (i was in NJ at the time) for a tech consulting gig. they explicitly demanded an ivy league pedigree, a 3.5 GPA, and 1350 SATs.

i wrote them this ultra-cocky cover letter to the effect that a) i had their stupid numerical criteria made in the shade and b) for anyone who actually wanted to study literature and philosophy, rutgers was a better choice than half the ivy league; and c) if they wanted to condescend to call me i'd condescend to take the call. i was pissy. trying to get a job in new york as just one more bright cat with an english degree was wearing me down and i was a bit panicked, lovelorn, depressed, terrified, etc. in a word, i snapped.

they called me for an interview within 2 hours of faxing that letter out, and a few weeks later i began my short-lived career as a relational database developer / consultant.

but that's one of those things i don't recomment; i just think i got away with it.

 

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