oh the places i'll go...

this morning on the bus i just about got knocked on my face by this incredible wave of longing to be in philadelphia. i was listening to an album on my never-get-on-the-bus-without-it ipod, an album that my friend chris had put on this giant DVD full of music he gave me before i left philly last summer, and i suddenly wanted more than anything to be sitting with chris and my friend jenn on their porch, just visiting. and from that reverie i further revered into thoughts of my other philadelphia friends and thoughts of the fair city of cheesesteaks and brotherly love.

i don't know where i'm going to be come august. barring some unforeseen disaster, i'll either be in philadelphia or pittsburgh, and i'm kinda letting the jobsearch dictate which city will be my destination. but the honest truth is that i have this feeling down deep in my soul that regardless of where my first job as an attorney will be, i'm going to end up in philadelphia. and i like that feeling a lot.

i have a couple of good friends who don't have jobs lined up yet, but who are going to philly regardless. do i do this, too? but there are definitely reasons to stick around in pittsburgh for a little while, and, well, moving just sucks.

i don't know what to do. my gut tells me that the first job i get out of law school will be more of a stepping stone than a career move. and that's good -- it takes some pressure off. but stepping stones are components of a path, so i do have some duty to point myself in the right direction.

i hate this not having a job thing. i hate the dread. i hate the uncertainty. but i'm not the first person ever to be in this situation, and i won't be the last. and when you consider all the possible shitty situations in which one could find oneself, being on the verge of graduating law school isn't exactly shabby...

this is a good problem, right? i should look at it as an opportunity? alas, it feels like a compromise...