flip-top...

if my head had a hinge on it, and you could lift up the top to peer inside, you would currently be exposed to one or more of the following:

a) that part of the “jesus christ, superstar” song that says “you’ve got the power and the glory…forever and ever and ever”, on a continuous loop, because my friend gave me a copy of graham greene’s “the power and the glory” earlier today;

b) federal rules of evidence about hearsay and hearsay exceptions, scattered about like the undone laundry in my bedroom right now, some of it accumulated in piles, some if it strewn about haphazardly. and, like the laundry in my bedroom, i have a general sense of what and where all of it is, but no idea to what degree the various items need my attention;

c) a fits-in-my-cranium-sized emily waving her arms and struggling to keep her head above the quickly rising level of anxiety, which is the approximate color and consistency of butterscotch pudding;

d) a general mood of annoyance at the people sitting near me in the coffee shop right now, who are smoking like it’s going out of style (newsflash, friends – smoking did in fact go out of style on september 17^th, when i quit) and talking and laughing because for them, apparently, things are goodfuntimes;

e) a general desire to kick myself for letting things get so overwhelming. the thing is, this is my own fault. i have no one to blame but me for having gotten behind in my reading, for getting distracted by friends and cats and shiny objects. all. my. fault.

i.e., if my head had a hinge on it, and you were so inclined to lift up the top to peer inside, you would almost certainly immediately slam the whole thing closed and utter something akin to “holy mackerel!” or “yikes!” or “stupid, stupid emily.”

i've got 2.5 weeks left in the semester. my task in the next 2.5 weeks is to work myself silly so that i can finish up feeling like i’m not a total fool. and since i need to be responsible, i’ve got to stop paying so much goddamn attention to the blog. i’m not going to be so silly as to declare that i’m not going to post in the next 2.5 weeks, but i’m going to make a real effort not to let posting become more of a distraction than is necessary.

i know you’re all terribly disappointed… oh, you’ve already gotten over it? um, great.

xo,
emily