language is a virus...

just wanted to put up a link to the most fantastic essay ever of all time! and here it is:

the most fantastic essay ever of all time

it's a david foster wallace piece from the april 2001 harper's magazine. brilliant! the evidence that upon receiving the magazine in the mail (ah, the days when i could afford magazine subscriptions!), i curled up in a chair and read it -- nay, devoured it/consumed it/swooned over it -- and the resulting giddiness solidly supports the conclusion that i am, always have been, and always will be a colossal nerd.

i was working as a grant writer at the philadelphia museum of art at the time and the morning after i had read this essay i went to work, still reeling from my post-DFW high, and told one of my co-workers, a fantastic woman named electra, who i always secretly hoped would meet my dad, because i was so sure that they would instantly fall in love, and who doesn't want a stepmom named "electra"!?! anyway, electra is me in 25 years -- smart, cynical, a _complete_ grammar geek. she was the one i would go to when i hit snags in my writing, she was the one whose chicago manual of style i would borrow (because i didn't want to bring my own copy to the office), she was the one (one of the few in my life) who i trusted to proofread my work. so electra, cheers to you, dear. i hope you're not still working in that dreary development department.

now, allow me to muse for a moment on david foster wallace. my copy of his most recent collection of short stories, entitled oblivion, is signed by the author, saying something like, "emily, you know, i'm smarter and better looking than your boyfriend". this is only partially true, as stean, who was my boyfriend at the time, is pretty damn hot. (but i am an absolute sucker for brilliant men who know how to manipulate language, so the "better looking" thing is really of no consequence.) the story of this inscription actually concerns stean, who volunteered to go to a DFW reading that was happening at the free library of philadelphia on the same night that i had to teach an LSAT session. stean, well aware of my ginormous crush on DFW, suggested that DFW sign my book as such, but according to stean, DFW was hesitant, not wanting to put himself in the middle of my relationship (oh my god, if i could be so lucky!!!). so, he put the "smarter and better looking than your boyfriend" part in quotes, to immune himself from any domestic strife. welcome to swoon city, population: me!

of course, had i been there, i may have requested that DFW write "victory for the forces of democratic freedom!"

but then again, i am a colossal nerd.

someday i'll write the story of what douglas coupland wrote when he signed my first ed. of microserfs. it involves me being drunk, having driven around for about 45 minutes trying to find a parking space in center city philadelphia (back when i had a car), and options.