every once in a while...

...the onion makes me giggle! it used to make me giggle every week. now it's only sometimes. and that makes me sad. but today it totally got me with this:

14 American Apparel Models Freed In Daring Midnight Raid
September 19, 2007 | Issue 43•38

LOS ANGELES—Acting on information gathered from billboards, alternative weeklies, and Internet banner ads, an FBI strike team liberated 14 dazed, sallow, and undernourished American Apparel models in a raid on the controversial organization's downtown Los Angeles compound early Monday.

"There were girls lying everywhere—draped over furniture, sprawled spread-eagled in the corner, and huddled close like animals," FBI Special Agent Curtis Froman, who oversaw the raid, said at a press conference. "Many of them had been given nothing more than a pair of tube socks or men's briefs to wear."

the story goes on here.

i swear -- nothing baffles and befuddles me like american apparel! i mean, what? nobody needs gold lame leggings or a dress made out of sheer t-shirt material that can be worn forty different ways. i know the clothing is all american made and the company hates sweatshops and all, but do they have to parade their models around with their nipples poking through their clothes and their asses exposed? i don't get it. isn't the notion of "sustainable" sexy enough without having to look sexually exploitative? silly hipsters!