sadface...

so, when i got up this morning i intended to post something about how greg and andrew and i had a silly night of sangria and wii sports, but then i got dumped. so i kinda didn't feel like writing about the goodtimes anymore.

i went over to krista and paul's place tonight. at one point i kinda just blurted out, "i'm just so tired of being single." and i meant it -- i don't want to be married or anything. but i want to be in that nice settled stage of a relationship when you're past all the drama and the hesitation and you've reached the point where things feel stable and nice and you know that you're with someone who loves you with all of your imperfections. unfortunately, you don't get that until you go through all the ups and downs of the early stuff. it seems, though, that most of the time you don't get past the early stuff.

i don't care where i am in my life or what's going on, breakups are always gonna suck. there's always gonna be that feeling of unfairness and misunderstanding and wanting to talk until you're blue in the face when you know that somebody's mind was made up long before the break up actually happened. and the way that mind got made up never ever ever will make sense to the other person. and there's the anger and the frustration and the sadness. and the only thing that can make it better is time.

so, yeah. there you go. i'm not on the appalachian trail as planned, i've had a real crap-fest of a day, and this phase between the end of finals and the beginning of my bar exam preparation class (that starts on the 17th) isn't turning out to be the much-needed rest and relaxation that i had wanted. but what can you do?

harrumph...