freak out...

woke up this morning a few minutes before the alarm with four letters screaming at me in my brain: M-P-R-E

the MPRE! good god -- the stuff i've heard about the multi-state professional responsibility exam ranges from "it's so easy it might as well be a joke" to "i had no idea how i did when i walked out of there." regardless, it's in like 4 weeks and i haven't done a damn thing to prepare. am i being ridiculous? am i over-thinking this?

doesn't matter. what i'm in right now is the early stages of a panic attack. the pot of coffee that is brewing right now is the WRONG treatment, but i'm hoping that by getting some of this out in this blog post i'll stave off what is threatening to become the tightness-of-chest, clinchy fisted, accelerated heartrate, hyperventilate-y, all-too-familiar freak out. uuuuuuugggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh...

it's not just the MPRE. it's my independent study paper (about which i feel so pathetically behind schedule) and my what-the-fuck job search and the dream i just had about being an awful TA and the papercut i have on the knuckle of my left thumb and the stupid NPR pledge drive and the godawful curse of pre-menstrual syndrome. SYNDROME! how offensive is it that they slap women on the proverbial ass by diagnosing us with a monthly syndrome?! and why haven't hormones evolved past this point?!

okay. breathe, emily. i need to go hole up in a library somewhere and work until the pain goes away.

boo. hoo.