interlude...

i had planned to finish telling the story about the hospital and all of that funness, but i'll get to that someday perhaps.

here's the thing. i know this is only 2 weeks old, i know that it takes time to accept and adjust and all of that crap, but i'm sick of this already. on my way to ceramics class tonight i got lost. I GOT FUCKING LOST! i've been taking classes at this place for well over a year and i totally blanked on the address! i hate being on this anti-seizure medication. i hate it so much. it makes me forget things. it makes me dizzy. it makes my brain slow. forgive me for not seeing the tradeoff.

what if this is how it is now? i'm starting law school in the fall. in less than five months i'll be realizing the goal i've had for years. and i'm sitting here waiting for the goddamn pathology results on a biopsy that was done a week and a half ago and i'm slowly becoming a complete moron just so i don't have another seizure.

i'd rather run the risk. i'd take the seizures over being stupid.

i don't want this to be happening. not to me. not at all.